yesterday I put my kid on the bus to school for the first time. He rode it to school and back. It was not the easiest thing I’ve ever done and there definitely were tears. I am so grateful to the other parents in my neighborhood who helped us find the courage to complete this transition. He kept saying this to me, “mom, I’m scared. How will I know where to go?” oh, dear reader, it kind of almost put me in a state of shock. It was pure lies and bluster as I just kept doing my best to assuage his fears and anxiety, reminding him about the teachers and bus monitors and all the helpful adults around, not to mention kids, who could direct him.

He was the last on the bus.

And then, miraculously, this afternoon – he burst off that bus like a sunbeam bursts through the early autumn leaves on my local walking path, smiling and bouncy and full of life. He was talking about something I couldn’t even hear over the din of happy youths as he landed next to me.

He had taken off his sweatshirt today and was just the happiest 6 year old I’ve ever seen.

I handed him an orange juice bottle that I had brought with me and he drank some immediately and he was off – telling me about school.

My mom coincidentally was on her way to work with a coworker and so he gave her a hug as well. He had been having some not – great experiences with the slide and so she asked him, “how were the slides?” before *I* could be anxious about her asking a potentially anxiety producing question right away he beamed, “I didn’t go on them today!” ahahaha.

what a perfect and simple solution. at least for now.

anyway, the kid I picked up from the bus stop and the kid I brought to the bus stop were not the same.

I can say honestly and truly I am so grateful that I have parented the way that I have. With all of its challenges and hurdles there is not a single moment of his baby – to – toddlerhood – to “kid” that I can say, “I regret not being there” or thinking about missing memories.

I held him so close and now that he’s going away he’s totally ready for it.

This first week has been truly such a different week in my life and it has been exhausting. But here is my son showing me how he is writing his first and last name, making artwork, and socializing with his peers. It’s really wonderful.

And somehow, despite all the odds, now, here we are, a healthy family in the autumn of New England, preparing for our first apple picking trip and vaguely thinking about halloween costumes.

shout out to the parents but especially the mamas.

happy back to school season, 2025.

We made it! 🙂

ps. I need to make some friends, immediately (;